Today I had one on one time with one of the kids and after I had talked with her a while I asked her if anything was bothering her. She replied, "no, I already told you everything and the rest of it is private!" I was really stunned to hear her say something like that. She said "there are somethings that it makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about" and I was sitting there thinking, man I have to find a way to help her feel comfortable talking to me!
Later I noticed a friend was on "hiatus" from her face book because someone had said something mean to her after she had written on her blogg. It made me start thinking about how I sit and wonder if I should write what's really on my mind and I will often start to write and then erase all of it in fear of what people will say or even what they will think.
After Kendra passed away I read a lot of books about near death experiences and often, if not in all the stories they stated that communication was done through the mind and no sooner had they thought something then the other person would respond to them. They stated that people could see everything about each other and there were no secrets.
I have often thought about this and wondered what it would be like if we had no secrets here in this world. How many misunderstandings wouldn't happen? How often would people be left suffering in silence? How many marriages wouldn't exist? How many that don't exist would exist? How many people who "hang out" would pick different friends? I can't help but to think if we had a window into each other and there was NO question about what the other person thought things would be REALLY different.
I know many people start to squirm and get uncomfortable with the idea of their secrets being revealed, or even of knowing other people's secrets, but I relish the thought of the truth being exposed no matter what it is. If the truth were really out there and everyone's intentions were out in the open I think our society would function completely different and I also think there would be divisions and people would flock to those who felt and thought similar ideas to them.
I remember walking down the street when I was a child and the thought occurred to me "no one knows what I am thinking, I can have a mean thought about someone and they wont know" I guess I may be strange, but I remember that being a total epiphany to me and it seemed really neat that I could "think" what ever I want and no one knows.
Maybe if we could really read each others thoughts we would be so disillusioned and we would wish we couldn't! It's gotta make you wonder...
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Interesting post! Great food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI do think that if we didn't have any secrets, we would have a lot more compassion for each other. We try to hide things as a way of protecting ourselves, but that also leads to passing judgement because we don't really know the 'whole story'...I like that you are brave enough to say how you feel and share your experiences. I guess that having your feelings hurt or having someone criticize you for it is just part of the process, but you can find lots of people who love you and look up to you because you were brave enough to do something they couldn't!
ReplyDeleteHey Rhonda,
ReplyDeleteJust to clarify, i was on facebook hiatus because I had too much to do, and Facebook was a distraction. The person who said some mean stuff to me, well, he's just not worth the energy it takes to care about it. The two things are separate and distinct and not at all related. I can see why it might appear that way to the casual observers, but nope.
I tell you this because I want to encourage you not to censor yourself. Ithink it's important to tell your story, whatever that means. You can do this in a way that is hurtful and mean, or you can find ways to speak the truth and still honor the experience and the people involved, whether the situation was good or bad. Does that make sense? I would never stop writing about what I am drawn to write about just because someone said something that was unkind. I write to tell my story and to balance myself. I don't give a damn what others think about it, but i do try to be truthful and honest but still be kind and compassionate. I think it can be done and well, some experiences are just ugly. It's part of life. So some of what I write is raw and painful and that's fine because it's part of what makes me...me. Make sense?
Always find a way to speak your truth and you'll be fine. I know this is true. I KNOW it.