How are you doing?

I ran into a friend at work a few days ago and promised I would write more. I also promised a friend from church and I have been TERRIBLE about it. So to them I say I'm sorry.

I know there were people who were concerned and thinking of me around the year anniversary of Kendra's death. I am grateful to know that people care. It means a lot to me.

On the one year anniversary of my babies death I had a day just like any other day. I felt a little astonished that it had already been a full year since we said our goodbyes.  I still hear her little voice in my head telling me, "mommy, I don't want you to be sad." She said those words to me on a night shortly after her first chemo treatment when I was feeling particularly sad about the idea of her dying.  I have no doubt in my mind that her little soul is standing there whispering in my ear during those times when I am feeling particularly desperate to see her little face and hold her close again.

I think I got off easily on the one year anniversary. The last couple of days have been a bit rough. I look at the video montage of Kendra and I think how could God take that precious little girl from me because I needed her so much, and then I realize he needed her too and she earned glory in the life to come. I guess it sucks to be me.

I often think how glad I am that she will never know the malice of the world outside my front door. I am so grateful that she will only know the joy and love of being with our savior. And I am so grateful that I have a testimony of a life after death and the pure love of Christ because with out the thought that I will see her again I am not so sure I would be coping as well as I do, most of the time.

I recently decided to take my children out of school and am quickly finding out how much work it is to prepare a days worth of work and activities to keep young minds engaged and excited...

I spent about six hours over the last three days in a school supply store sifting through the wide range of possible curricula available in search of something that will encourage my children to think for themselves and not simply follow along and be told what to do. I hope that by having them learn at home and adding in some moral instruction they will be able to stand firm when they see things happening that they disagree with.

I am of the opinion that good, solid leadership skills are sadly lacking in our society. There are many out there who are opinionated and passionate, however, they haven't been taught basic moral values or they choose to disregard them saying they are old fashioned and inhibitory.

I am interested in hearing what others think about public school and home schooling. This is a great conversation to have about our children, they are the future after all!